Today offically marks the first anniversary of my first post on this blog – to be perfectly accurate, technically the anniversary of the blog would have been yesterday, as it was created with no content on the 9th, but It’s probably better to use this day instead.
So, with a year done on the blog, what is there to talk about? what have I discovered? well, as anyone who has been reading this blog for a while will know, I like lists, so:
– My son changes almost daily – some of the stories I have written in the past, looking back on now, I imagine are almost unbelievable to any non parents. Some even read like they’ve been lifted from some sort of terrifying tv series about the dangers of parenting. I assure you it isn’t, and according to other parents I’ve spoken to, it’s on par if not tamer than other experiences.
– Parenting is HARD. I mean, really, REALLY Hard. I don’t think I’m quite getting the point across how hard it can be if you’re unprepared. Claire read a ton of stuff about parenting, and was failry clued up on the things to expect. Even now she checks online regularly to see if the slightest quirk in our son is normal. I wished I had read at least a few things instead of ‘winging it’ – it may have made the first few months a little less terrifying.
– Parenting is SCARY. Genuinely terrifying at times, I think back to the time Ned locked me out of the car and think to myself – what would have happened if he didn’t accidentally unlock the car? what if he dropped the keys? what if he started choking on them? what if he got our of his seat, started the car and drove off? I can’t bear to think of it much because it makes my stomach turn. I think about recently, when a diagnosed flu by a doctor turned out to be a chest infection that had our son on breathing apparatus, and could’ve had Ned being tube fed. I think of how helpless I felt then and its at those moments, you really understand what it’s like to love something so much you’d rather anything happen to you than him.
– Parenting is BRILLIANT. An Honestly, Undeniably amazing experience. When Ned first gave me a kiss (It was disgusting, and his nose was running), when Ned said ‘Dada’, when he first walked, crawled, when he first said ‘Clock’ (Which still sounds like ‘Cock’) – when all these things happened individually I thought to myself ‘there’s no way life can get better than this’ – but he continues to amaze me every day. Watching him grow and develop, the way he laughs, or plays, or curiously examines something new – it’s all fascinating to see, and in the back of my mind I think to myself ‘I did that’ or ‘That’s my Wifes handiwork, that’
– On the subject of my wife, I have learnt that she is more amazing than I have ever given her credit for. Before Ned arrived, she was already a pillar of strength that I could rely on – someone who was always there to soothe any worries I had. Post baby, she has become even stronger. Anyone who can raise a child that still gets up every few hours in the night, still breastfeeds, still never sits still and is probably only going to increase in energy levels deserves anyones respect. I love her, and I literally wouldn’t be writing this if it wasn’t for her.
– I have learnt that you learn how to be a parent simply through time – as a dad, you are completely useless to begin with. There are very few on this planet that are naturals. But, from the first awkward nappy change to a year later where you’re practically doing it while you’re watching TV – if you stop for a minute, take a step back and actually see how far you’ve progressed as a person, you see that you’re not doing a bad job at all in the grand scheme of things.
So, in conclusion, Parenting has been the scariest, proudest, stressful, happiest time of my life so far, and if it continues like this, it’s only going to get better.
So, what’s next? originally, this blog was put up in my ongoing quest to make Claire laugh. It was never really the plan to be public domain, though it’s great that it is. It was also the plan to do it for a year, and see how I feel after that. I think I’ll take a week off, recharge the batteries, but I’ll be back the week after, business as usual.
So thanks – thanks for sticking with me these past 365 days everyone, It’s been fun. Talk soon.