Sleeping With The Fishes

The garden centre is a strange establishment. To most people in their early teen to twenties, it is a place of great boredom and misery. rows and rows of endless grennery, boring ornaments and pointless trinkets to display in a home, and areas completely dedicated to the tedious art of fish keeping.

When you become a home owner, or reach your mid twenties, however, in some people, a change appears.

You now see rows and rows of wonderful plants and flowers to proudly decorate your garden with, That bird bath you’ve always wanted to put near the patio, and hey! you’ve always wanted an aquarium! and that massive granite skull is just DYING to be put in a fish tank for your new water based pets to explore!

Such is the case for myself – who has, in the past year or so, discovered a newfound love for these places, in no small part because my son also loves them.

Thinking from his point of view, it must be terribly exciting – staring at plants of different colours, all (thankfully) just out of reach, lots of space to explore (while in the pushchair, obviously) and of course, fish. Lots and lots of fish.

Ned loves fish. He loves staring at them, watching them drift about their glass homes, wondering where the hell they are, and how they got here in the first place. Fish, along with The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, are the only two things at present that will stop him from trundling around the living room on all fours, devouring all in his path (or at least giving it a bloody good chewing) He’ll literally stop and stare at fish for ages – only moving to try and get closer to them.

Which is why, as a present from my parents to their grandson, we now have this:

Note my son looking on in wonder, in a perpetual state of motion due him struggling to stay on his feet because of his large round baby head weighing him down like a sack of potatoes. Also note the plastic plant we have decided to leave outside of the tank. Because it’s hideous.

As you can see, it’s relatively small – which is ideal, being as it’ll be low upkeep (we are lazy) and is big enough to house 4 small fish, which you can just about make out in there. Two are Red Snap Dragons named Mick and Marianne, while the other two are Sunset Males named Meg and Jack, which, of course, means sod all. To me, they’re Red ones with black bits, and yellow ones with white stripes.


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